'Ryan is Lyin' or 'Hey, that dude can see!' Part 1

Exposing Ryan is of great importance to me, and I have written too much so I will separate this post into at least 2 parts.
I count Ryan amongst the elite or at least slightly above a peon in my friendship circle. I even allowed him into a super-friend contract that most new friends are bound to(I believe that Mr. Marcos Talcott can take the credit for this wonderful idea). If one of the friends becomes rich then they have to support the other friend financially(a sugar daddy of sorts). I feel like I have pretty good odds on this one. He and Trent both entered into the unbreakable contract recently. Trent is in med school and Ryan is really smart. I just have to convince Ryan that working for non-profits and helping people that don't have tons of money is wrong. I need help with Trent as well. He is into this whole missions thing. I have tried, and I implore you to help as well to convince Trent that Beverly Hills style cosmetic surgery is a better type of mission work than Africa could ever offer.(Horribly untrue and a genuinely deplorable thing to say. I'm proud of my little guys and their hearts for people in need(you too, Mark and Adam.) Being with a group like this in a place of need has been extraordinary, and I can't wait to see where God takes them. I just want them to pamper me, and foot the bill for my costly lifestyle.) Anyway, it just so happened that I was in the market for a new friend when Ryan gloriously entered my life.
Ryan, a great friend, but a dirty, filthy liar. I have enjoyed him immensely, but I liked him a lot more before I knew him. "Why?", you ask. I am convinced that Ryan pretends to be visually impaired to receive perks, that I have heard him admit to and seen for myself, from airports, theme parks, banks, or anywhere that lines or inconveniences are present. I have heard him offer up his escort services, for a fee of course, to those who don't want to wait to ride on 'Space Mountain'.
Not enough proof? Let me briefly share with you a few recent experiences that may convince you that this man has better eyesight than superman. (A few partial truths or complete untruths may be used to help prove my point. This may sound hypocritical, especially when the point of this is to show that Ryan is the liar. Not so, friends. I will only use verbal tomfoolery that is meant to deceive, not lie. This is a method used by some of the most ethical people that are famous for their integrity and refusal to lie. I can't remember their names now, but I will email them to you later if you can present me with a notarized request. To get you off my back, I will indicate when something that may be considered fallacy is mentioned.)
The hard facts will be presented soon.
Photo: Look at Mark, ever studious and pleasant. There I am, smiling and enjoying the day. Adam, attempting to smile, but he is still on the heels of the fecal fiasco from the day before. And Ryan, he looks calm and satisfied. And then there is Trent... No, I think if you look very carefully you will see that there is no Trent there. Look at the 4 of us sitting there again. Look at the underlying fear that can only be seen in the glimmer in 6 of our eyes. That is because 6 of those eyes, which I believe is 3 of us, can see Trent struggling on the floor after Ryan beat him unmercifully with his cane. The offense? Trent handed Ryan a napkin. That is the kind of wildcard we are dealing with here! What does this have to do with anything? Nothing. But don't ever give that guy a napkin. I don't know why. Plus it kind of shows that he is shady and therefore, probably a liar.

T-Shirts: If you would like one, please let me know asap(I hate when people use that. I could have already written it out in full. That is my point.). The best way is to email me at brinijm@yahoo.com or zach@mexicoaid.com Don't forget to let me know your size. It looks like they will be about $12 with any extra $ going to Juarez.