We Win Again? How is that?

I know that I am more than blessed, and my lot in life is an excellent one. I have nothing real to complain about, especially when compared to the actual problems and situations that an unjust and gigantic percentage of the world has. So, I am in no way belittling others issues when I say that I have a pretty good string of bad luck when it comes to dealing with 'the man'. Airlines, phone companies, banks, etc... always get the best of me. Getting a second straight victory on the heels of the Torreon police incident(see post below) has been a shock and given rise to a great deal of bragging on my part. I apologize for this arrogance and the length of this blog after the wordy police saga, but I beg that you let me enjoy my special day. Also, if you notice some similarities between the two stories then you are very astute, and I applaud you. The reason for this is that the same formula was implemented that we used with the coppers. And this, too, is honestly true. But please know and sleep well tonight with the sweet assurance that just as the sun rises I will be knocked off my high horse, and 'the man' will pick up his string of victories and slapping me around right where he left off.

We are pretty down after losing 2/5ths of the 'Sons of Robert F. Townsend'. So the remaining 3 decide to all pitch in and get an actual hotel opposed to the 'motels?hostels?' that we have been staying in. To make matters worse we find ourselves walking Marcos to the checkout and sending him back to our Minnesota offices(his house). I am momentarily passing up some stories that the other 'Sons' have been around for and will pick back up post haste to regain a chronologically intact series. We miss you Ryan, Trent, and Marcos. Adam and I wave goodbye and ready ourselves to return to the room with our heads hanging low. Not so fast. There is, of course, a problem that we have to deal with at the front desk. Not surprised, we dig our heels in for another go.

It seems that our hotel was booked as us being women. This is not an uncommon mistake that people make about Adam or myself, but usually after they meet us. But this mistake occurred pre-introductions to the hotel staff. We were registered under my first name which is John, traditionally a name of the male persuasion. Apparently their is a $64 penalty for the gender that we chose. Normally I would pay it and ask that they forgive me for the mistake. But we were prepayed with a confirmation and a 'price guarantee' as well as paperwork that proved that I was John, I was indeed a male(I carry a birth certificate at all times for just this scenario), and that it wasn't indicated anywhere that we were female or that there was a price for not fitting that criteria. That coupled with losing our mates put us into a bad and somewhat defensive mood. The names of the internet travel agencies will be changed to protect their identity.

'Chumptickets'/'Orbutz' are sites that I use frequently when booking travel. I didn't know they were connected, but they are. So when I refer to one, I am referring to both. The hotel's paperwork that they showed me did say that I was of a different gender(it also instructed the hotel to not let me see the paper with the actual price that they payed. They are racking up.). Getting a discount for my being a women appeared to have prompted Orbutz to register me that way hoping that nobody would notice. The desk guy, whom we did make up with afterwards along with the 5 other involved hotel staff who were all extremely nice(really), had astutely caught the error. He informed us of this and professionally demanded that we make immediate payment. We refuse, and Adam and I fly into a bit of a fit. They quickly get Orbutz on the line and thrust me the phone. 4 phone calls later we get a hold of someone. As I talk on the phone Adam and I tag team in and out on complaining to the various agencies and all that are within the sound of our voices. Orbutz sends us to Chumptickets which is really themselves and send us back again. The confusion is meant to make us give up and pay the tiny fee, but not today. We enjoy this more than being in the pool. We apply a similar tactic that we used in Torreon. I get the desk guy's name while I am on hold. While he stands there looking I tell the elevator music that it is not Alberto's fault and there is no reason to be mad at him. Alberto doesn't like this. I call out his name a few more times, but he does a great job sticking to his guns. Alberto is experienced and isn't going to let us bully him. Darn. A worthy adversary. He really is a cool guy, and I appreciate him not falling for my ruse. I feel bad about this, but we were in panic mode. We rationalized that we didn't tell a fib, but there was intent to mislead and we don't condone this at all and are truly sorry for the offense. Proper apologies were made.

When I got off the phone with Orbutz I went for the manager. 3 words left my mouth, and she looked like she was going to cry so I took a nice approach with her. After chatting her up, I let her know that Orbutz was blaming the hotel(I had just told Orbutz that the hotel was blaming them. Actually, both parties were blaming me for being a man.) She didn't like this so back on the phone with Orbutz. I talked to security and asked if they would throw me out if I didn't pay. He asked me to pay, and it could be settled later. I told him that I wasn't paying and that he may need to contact the police to drag me out of the hotel. He looked at me like I was an idiot. I am used to this look. It became clear that Orbutz is the party at fault and our real enemy so our efforts should be directed to them. I get on with Orbutz again and start to get the generic greeting. I ask him if he can skip this scripted garbage and do something. In a very wordy dialogue(much like this one) he sort of tells me no. I tell him that the police are on the way, and I need a manager with the power to make a decision now.

What I first thought was a robot was indeed a manager for Orbutz/Chumptickets. She went through the whole Adam and I possessing the wrong chromosones spiel. Several times I stopped her to let her know I have already heard it. She finally says that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing they can do, and the conversation needs to end as this is an expensive international call(the hotel told me this too when they made the call for me. I logged in about 2 hours of international minutes which cost way more than $64.). I think I look a bit discouraged at this point. But our boy Alberto now thoroughly enjoying the unfolding scene gives us a look of mutual respect and unspoken encouragement to not back down. We have gone too far to quit, and his reassurance empowers us to risk imprisonment.

I tell the 'must go by the book' manager that I need to tell her one more thing before she hangs up. "Okay sir, but this issue is resolved." As calmly as I can I tell her, "I am glad that you are doing your job and feel that you have resolved the issue. It has been a pleasure. I just want you to know that I am calling the police right now, and I am going to tell them that there is a guest that shouldn't be here. These guys(I include Adam. He said he was cool with it later.) won't leave, and they need to be dragged out. I am taking my paid Orbutz price confirmation sheet with me and will be screaming your name the entire time. Before I call the police, I will be calling the local media to let them know that 2 Americans are being dragged out of a hotel that they payed for and being sent to jail because they aren't women." Alberto, the manager, and the rest of the desk staff are now ignoring the huge line of customers and loving life as I get excited about jail. I'm pretty sure there were some high fives. Manager lady replies, "I find it very unfortunate that you have decided to do that." "Thank you for your concern. I am sure that your bosses will find it very unfortunate that their paying customer was thrown in jail because you are a moron.", I say as nicely as possible. "I run a business/organization myself, and I am always opposed to having our participants thrown into jail. I just think that it is a good business model to go by for future reference. Thanks for your help, but I need to get some things packed up before my all expenses paid stay in the clink." Hotel staff going crazy now. "Could you please hold sir. I will try to get a manager."(I was just told that she was the highest manager on duty.) 5 minutes later she comes back, "I couldn't find an available manager(that wanted to deal with someone begging to go to jail over $64). I was thinking about your situation though.(You can think?) As a ONE time courtesy to you for being such a great customer we will give you a voucher for $64 for future Chumptickets travel if you will pay the remainder of your bill." "Nope. You pay it now.", I reply. Without any hesitation she says, "okay please put it on your credit card, and we will reimburse it within 2 weeks." "Nope. You are going to pay it now and be happy about it.", I inform her. Not one second passes, "Yes sir. Please put the front desk manager on the phone so I can pay her with our credit card. But this is a one time courtesy." "Whatever, I am going to get all of my money back, but I guess I will let you do that for me now."

Staff in awe as several others who had the same problem had to pay their own bill because Orbutz wouldn't step it up. I get the phone back and am told that all has been taken care of. "Sorry for the inconvenience and thanks for using Chumptickets.", angrily and defeated. So Adam and I go around and make sincere apologies for all of the hassle as well as congratulations to everyone for their efforts. Although they began as our foes a good will relationship was forged in the fires of the conflict. We will probably tip them at least $64.

I did approach the manager one more time and told her that I thought that it would be appropriate for the hotel to order free massages for Adam and I as a good will gesture for our time spent in their lobby. She gives us an excellent and beautifully genuine 'are you kidding me' look after we had gotten what we wanted. She tells us that she will check on a fruit basket.

Hours later we see another couple that had our same problem with the same company. They are still dealing with it in the lobby. They tell me that Orbutz won't do anything, and they are going to have to fork out the cash. I tell them to just call the police and get arrested. They decided against this and seemed to avoid us for the rest of our stay.